Hailee Crysta Marie LaJeunesse Gregory
Sixteen years ago yesterday I was blessed to call a gorgeously amazingly, tremendously talented, friendliest, exceptionally entertaining, and all around perfect person my daughter.
When I found out I was going to be a mom I was, to say the least extremely nervous about the job. Motherhood is like no other gig in this world. Of course parenthood in general is hell of scary. It's got to be the number one cause of adults (if only qualified by age) to shit their pants! It's a scary endeavor to take on. It's the most rewarding yet heart breaking life altering even that anyone would be bestowed. One human being is given 100% control over your entire emotional being and if you're anything like me that does scare the shit out of you. Never did I expect to relinquish the magnitude of emotional control to one single human as I did to Hailee. In one instance this perfect daughter can take me from chilled out to so furious I just want to slap my own face. Yet she's the only person who can look at me and love the flawed me and make me believe her. She can also change my mood without even realizing how much she actually saves me from myself.
I can honesty say that there is a God and he answers prayers. She is exactly the person I prayed she would be when I was pregnant with her. I have been blessed to have the six most beautiful women as sisters for 20-27 years. They've loved the flaw me even when I would've stopped loving her. I prayed that God would please bless my daughter with the best characteristics of each one of these women. I asked that she be as beautiful as each of them. I asked that she'd be as full of love and acceptance for everyone as my friend Jennifer Zuniga. Yes I am using maiden names because they'll always be my sisters and that was before we got married and screwed everything up! :) I asked that she'd be as strong willed as Staci Vrzak. I asked that she be as full of life and desire to see the world as my "Maggie Mae" Magdalena Nowak. I asked that she be as kind and friendly as my Christina "Marie" Barbour. I asked that she be as lively and entertaining as my "JJ" Jymira Jenkins. I also prayed that she'd be as awkwardly and inappropriately awesome as my little sister Alicia LaJeunesse. I can proudly say that my baby girl received every gift I prayed that she would from all of these women!
I also asked that she be laid back like her dad and have my sense of humor. I knew I could have a high strung daughter because two high strung women together makes for a stressful time. I also knew that I'd need a companion to joke with and be me with.
Hailee has surpassed every single expectation I had of what being a mom would allow me to experience. I couldn't imagine my life without her in it. I can barely remember my life before her. Who am I kidding I have a freakishly good memory so I do remember but it was nowhere near as exhilarating.
Yesterday my baby girl turned 16 and all I could think about all day was the past 16 years and all that we've experienced together. I sit now just remembering my baby becoming a toddler and then a child then moved to preteen and is now in her teen years and I ask God today, "Why me? Why would you have ever in a zillion years trusted such perfection to me to raise?" He hasn't exactly answered other that saying, "Ugh women just shut up and enjoy the blessing that I gave you and just say thank you already." Yes I know it very well could've been just one of my voices but I choose to believe God said it to me, the shut up and all! :)
So today I want to thank God for blessing me more than I would ever deserve to be. "Thank you, God! I owe you big!!!"
Happy Birthday Honeybee! I love you more than any words could ever express! Oh and you're welcome, where's my present! :)
Love, Mom
